showing up blank
Nothing scares me more than blanking in the middle of a test or being stuck writing a document while an I blinks on and off. A massive heat would flush from my head to my ears. Suddenly, I'm supposed to come up with something in that moment of heat. This is when I start laughing at myself: I'm consciously thinking about thinking to come up with something, fully knowing maybe I'd be chased or not chased for this. Knowing the consequences of being lacking pedals me to break through this barrier and so I'd get some adrenaline, brain is in full throttle, cross checking every piece of steps ensuring not a single mistake goes by. Finally when it all ends I sigh a great relief wishing it would never happen again but it will happen again. Slogging through without inspiration feels like stupor, you don't wanna do it, but work done feels better than nothing done. In a sense this is real life.