losing & badminton
It is a cliche already, life isn't an anime. My last badminton tournament representing my high school did not end with a victory. Despite after coming back down from 9-19 down to equalize the score, we still lost the match. My bitterness towards the defeat has certainly faded away through time and though still, I'd regret we couldn't maximize our potential in the march starting from our formation, my fitness preparation, and execution. But game is game and the pressure wasn't so much after all. Looking back, it really was a good memory, everyone smiled, gave mutual respect but I think I didn't realize at the time that I had lost something more valuable: my mixed doubles partner.
We had known each other since junior high from the badminton club. She was a junior of mine and weren't really close. When the club opened again for what been years, I met her again, the club was independent, we formed our own group and we became friends.
I really don't know why but we just drifted apart ever since the tournament or my memory is broken. After our loss, she cried, she felt guilty that it was her fault for our loss, I told her I'm not blaming her for our defeat (I really didn't). Her loss was my loss after all. She did calmed down after I told her that. I really don't know what happened, she weren't playing badminton with us anymore, she'd be busy with other things (or it could just be bad luck or coincidence anyways). Have I said anything wrong? Was it just a natural course for our friendship?
But I hope not to exaggerate this driftiness. It isn't like we have avoided talking altogether but our conversation became less than what it used to be. She turned into (almost) a stranger and friend blended together again.
Writing this down does feel somber. I'm not going to blame her; I still see her in a positive light after all we were the regular badminton pairing back then.