i hate myself
People don't understand but I hate, hate, hate myself. It's way less compared as to how it was in the past however the feeling still lingers. I can simply recall all the cringy things I have said or did. Whenever things go wrong, I go 'ah fuck I hate myself'. I am aware it can be toxic and self-destructive. I have written this on my journal too.
At times, I resolve them by recalling the fact that no one held a grudge when it happened. Yeah, that shit happened but so what? That was a long time ago?
At times, I tell myself, "Okay, it's okay. It's alright".
At times, they are useless. I'd take a deep breath and let out a sigh. "Fuck you". Then I go to sleep.